Enquirer Digest Book Notes on: The Power of Regret by Daniel Pink

October 7, 2022

My Notes from: The Power of Regret by Daniel Pink

Regret is universal. Anybody over six years of age has regret.

Normalize and neutralize regret

Instead of permitting regret to govern our thoughts and actions, we can accept that we've all made some mistakes that we regret. Knowing regret is something shared by all human beings helps us to normalize and negate the guilty sensation associated with regret. The moment we normalize the emotion of regret, we can use it to craft a redemption story. Research shows that people who are made to reflect about redemption stories are happier, more successful, and find more meaning in their daily life. Regrets create an infinitely better starting place for new redemption narratives. For example, if you regret not eating healthy when you were young, you now have an excellent opportunity to transform your diet and become healthy. By performing a generous act to outweigh a selfish act, a thoughtful act to outweigh a careless act, and hard work to offset prior laziness, you will be able to make a character-defining moment. Regrets are like tattoos, you can cover them up by going through some effort, but a mark will remain. However, it is helpful. Regret residue can provide you with the motivation you require to anticipate future regret and can enable you to build a life of which you are proud.

Anticipate future regret

Author Daniel Pink conducted a very widespread survey and gathered 16,000 regrets from people in 105 countries. Pink found that all human regret falls into four categories: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets.

Foundation regrets: If only I had done the work.

• For example: "If only I was disciplined with my eating, I wouldn't have so many health problems today."

Boldness regrets: If only I had taken that risk.

• For example: “If only I'd asked that girl out.” Or “If only I'd started that business.”

Moral regrets: If only I had acted tight.

• For example: “I wish I hadn't lied”

Connection regrets: If only I had reached out.

• For example: If only I'd apologized and fixed our relationship sooner.”

Setup a recurring reminder or mail for and think about how it would have been if you had a bad week. Anticipating regrets on a weekly basis will prevent unimportant things turning into regrets.