Remote work has been talked about quite a bit in recent times; especially after Covid. Many companies were put under the spotlight because they were advocating for a return to the office. Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JPMorgan, has expressed skepticism towards remote work. Mark Zuckerberg has stated that engineers are more productive in the office. Additionally, Google’s chief people officer informed employees that office attendance would impact performance reviews.

Challenges of Remote work

Although this was the tendency on the executive's side, people are looking to remain remote or hybrid at worst. The many people I coach from US and Europe have brought this to the sessions as a drawback to their work when they were called into the office more than before. Apart from going into the office more days, remote work has its place among challenges leaders at all levels are facing. Some areas that I work on with my clients are how do I motivate my team? How do I instill trust or set boundaries with others?

When looking from the executive angle and from the employee angle the discussion seems to converge on the hybrid option. Executives, as mentioned above, believe that productivity is higher in the office, but are also aware that remote work is the preference of people. On the other hand employees feel the need to engage on a personal level with their colleagues. They are not looking for a fully remote solution either. So, both sides are coming to a balance it seems.

Working on the "remote work" challenge has led me to two recent sources. I like them both as they are both research based. The first one is a podcast "Coaching for Leaders" Podcast hosted by Dave Stachowiak.

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Podcast Notes and Takeaways

The second resource is the HBR article recently published. Scroll down below for their links.

According to HBR article the research from Survey of business Uncertainty remote and hybrid work are expected to grow in the coming 5 years. Although there are a couple of reasons why remote work is increasing, on of the reasons that caught my attention is that people prefer it.

Research does suggest that fully remote work is slightly less productive but is cheaper.

But it's not just about where the people will work but also about how this will be managed. Leadership has to manage the process well. According to Gallup research in my opinion the critical findings are as follows:

• Organizations need to consider individual preferences and collaboration needs when implementing hybrid work models.

• Smart autonomy, where employees have the freedom to work in a way that suits them best, while considering the needs of their colleagues and customers, is crucial for maintaining engagement and productivity.

• The most engaged teams were the ones that worked out their hybrid working arrangements with their teams.

• Managers should have regular conversations with employees to understand their productivity patterns and work-life preferences.

• Meaningful conversations with managers lead to higher engagement levels.

• Managers account for 70% of the variance in team engagement.

• The quality of interaction is more important than the time spent. Shorter discussions that focus on recognition, goals, and strengths can have a greater impact than longer ones that do not.

Meaningful conversations

I believe that the main takeaway should be the that leaders and managers do need to have the right kind of conversations with their people. This is effective both on an individual level and at the team level.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that having authentic and meaningful conversations with people can have the best impact.

Fortunately, we have this kind of research to remember the fundamentals.

In relation to this week’s subject the podcasts to listen to is:

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Today's Article

Today's article is from HBR Remote work isn't going away

Today’s Quote

"The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought and attended to my answer." - Henry David Thoreau

Main Topics

Preferences and engagement

The pandemic forced a shift to remote work, and now, 9 out of 10 people in remote-ready jobs prefer some form of work-from-home arrangement. Organizations need to honor these preferences to avoid disengagement and burnout.

Rethinking performance management and accountability

With increased autonomy, higher accountability is needed, and managers should have regular discussions with employees to set goals and provide meaningful feedback.

Generational preferences for work-life integration

Contrary to assumptions, both younger and older generations have preferences for blending or separating work and life, and it is important to honor individual preferences.

Data and research

Gallup has conducted numerous studies on workplace effectiveness and human potential, providing valuable insights into how organizations and managers are adapting to the changing work landscape.

Importance of asking questions about remote work experiences

Asking questions about what parts of the job can be done best at home or in the office can help surface insights and improve productivity.

Work from home trends

In 2019, only 5% of Americans worked from home, but today, organizations are navigating hybrid, remote, and in-person work.

Questions / Answers

How has work changed and what do we do next?

The data shows a significant shift towards remote work, with around 30% of people in remote-ready jobs still working from home full-time. Organizations need to consider individual preferences and collaboration needs when determining hybrid work arrangements.

How are organizations implementing hybrid work?

Many organizations are giving employees the flexibility to choose their office days, with Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday being the most preferred. However, only 12% of employees discuss their work arrangements with their team, which leads to higher engagement levels.

How can managers facilitate smart autonomy?

Managers should ask employees about their individual productivity and collaboration preferences. Understanding whether employees prefer work-life separation or blending is crucial for effective management and maintaining engagement.

Key points and Insights

• Smart autonomy, where employees have the freedom to work in a way that suits them best, while considering the needs of their colleagues and customers, is crucial for maintaining engagement and productivity.

• The pandemic has accelerated the shift towards remote work, with a majority of employees now desiring some form of work-from-home arrangement.

• Managers should have regular conversations with employees to understand their productivity patterns and work-life preferences.

• Organizations need to consider individual preferences and collaboration needs when implementing hybrid work models.

• Meaningful conversations include recognition, collaboration discussions, goal setting, and leveraging strengths.

• Managers should ask specific questions about projects and provide specific insights and advice.

• Regular, shorter conversations (15-30 minutes) have a greater impact than longer ones.

• Meaningful conversations with managers lead to higher engagement levels.

• Managers account for 70% of the variance in team engagement.

This edition of enquirer digest is about Leadership and management. As you know each edition is about a podcast and article with a quote. This edition is by Frank Slootman. Frank Slootman currently serves as Chairman and CEO at Snowflake. He was the guest on the Knowledge project podcast.

In relation to this week’s subject the podcasts to listen to is:

So, who is Frank Slootman ? According to the website of his current company his bio is as follows:

Frank Slootman currently serves as Chairman and CEO at Snowflake. Frank has over 25 years of experience as an entrepreneur and executive in the enterprise software industry. Mr. Slootman served as CEO and President of ServiceNow from 2011 to 2017, taking the organization from around $100M in revenue, through an IPO, to $1.4B. Prior to that, Frank served as President of the Backup Recovery Systems Division at EMC following an acquisition of Data Domain Corporation/Data Domain, Inc., where he served as the Chief Executive Officer and President, leading the company through an IPO to its acquisition by EMC for $2.4B. Slootman holds undergraduate and graduate degrees in economics from the Netherlands School of Economics, Erasmus University Rotterdam.

It is a long interview. I won't be going over all of it. I will comment on what I liked and what I raised an eyebrow to.

You may find all my insights, notes in the Podcast Notes and Takeaways Section. If y

What caught my attention:

Behavior as a choice.

Mr. Slootman defines behavior as a choice. He underlines behavior very clearly with the following "behavior you know performance is something that we will give more time behavior we won't. And that's because behavior is a choice, not a skill set" Which is an interesting approach and to which I agree to a certain extent. If you are self-aware your behavior may be based on your choices but most behavior tend to come as a learned behavior. I do understand what he is saying as " you can choose to behave differently" which is in essence true. The part where he summed it up for me was when he said

".... you want to get bad behavior you know out of an organization fast because that is your leadership brand..."

Trust Building

Trust is very fundamental to organizations and teams alike. As we all can agree trust is formed through action and not words. I was happy to see that this was underlined again with a behavior basis to it.

"...it has to do with, you know, how do we come together, how do we behave as a group."

Performance and Recognition

It’s clear that Frank Slootman is indeed a results-oriented individual, displaying a high level of dedication and drive. Understandably, his perspective on performance and rewards-recognition is largely influenced by quantitative measures and financial incentives. While recognition and celebration are acknowledged, the primary emphasis appears to be on tangible outcomes and measurable achievements. This perspective naturally invites discussion on merit-based performance. From the interview, which is available on YouTube for viewing, it could be inferred, (albeit subtly), that he leans slightly more towards a numbers-first approach rather than a people-first one.

Today's Article

Todays article is from Gallup. The article discusses recognition and reward in the work place. I think this article complements the interview well in terms of the performance discussion in the interview.

https://www.gallup.com/workplace/236441/people-numbers-focus-gets-results.aspx

Main points from the article are:

• Employee recognition is a strategy that organizations often overlook in their efforts to attract and retain top performers.

• According to Gallup, only one-third of workers in the US strongly agree that they have received recognition for their good work in the past seven days.

• Lack of recognition can lead to decreased employee engagement and increased likelihood of quitting.

• Meaningful and memorable recognition comes most often from employees’ managers or high-level leaders, followed by peers and customers.

• Recognition should be honest, authentic, and individualized to be effective. It is important for recognition to come from all sides, including managers, peers, and customers, to create a recognition-rich environment.

Today’s Quote

The discussion covers strategies for the first 90 days in a new company, dealing with bad behavior, establishing trust, prioritizing tasks, the relationship between sales and product, assessing problems, positioning for future success, concerns about AI, handling mistakes, and assessing job performance during interviews.

Main Topics

Sales enablement

• Great salespeople can't sell a bad product, but lousy salespeople can sell a great product.

• Sales enablement should focus on making average salespeople productive.

• Hiring salespeople with experience in challenging situations is beneficial.

Handling mistakes and fostering a culture of learning

• Using mistakes as teaching moments and course corrections.

• Encouraging fast failure and correction rather than defending bad decisions.

• Emphasizing the importance of confronting mistakes and continuously improving.

Impact of AI and data

• Anticipating a renaissance in intelligence and computing.

• Potential for content generation in various fields like medicine and education.

• Acknowledging the need to address potential abuse and fake realities.

Data enrichment

• Data analysis has progressed from basic transactional records to more advanced capabilities.

• Search has been a significant development, but it lacks context and memory.

• Enriching and contextualizing data will revolutionize data analysis.

Dealing with bad behavior and cultural issues

• Separating individuals based on behavior, not performance.

• Zero tolerance for behavior that goes against the desired culture.

• Resetting and regrounding individuals to normal behaviors.

Artificial Intelligence (AI)

• AI is the most transformative thing observed in the world of data.

• AI allows for the enrichment and contextualization of data.

• Natural language interfaces and text-to-SQL capabilities enhance data analysis.

Transformation

• Recognizing the need for transformation is essential for CEOs.

• The world and technology change, requiring adjustments and changes in business strategies.

• Many companies fail to recognize, time, and execute successful transformations.

Establishing trust in a performance-based culture

• Fairness and non-personal preferences are essential.

• Giving individuals a chance to reset and improve their behavior.

• Filling the void of culture to prevent subcultures from forming.

Playbook for the first 90 days in a new company

• Choosing is crucial, not choosing compromises everything.

• Operating through influence, regardless of title or organization.

• Prioritizing and dealing with issues quickly.

Focus and narrowing down priorities

• Demanding insanely great contributions to the mission.

• Constant conversations and prioritization.

• Stripping away unnecessary tasks and focusing on critical ones.

Sales and product relationship

• There is tension between sales and product, sometimes healthy and sometimes not.

• Alignment between sales and product is crucial.

• Sales problems are often product problems.

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Questions / Answers

How do you deal with bad behavior and cultural issues?

Separating individuals based on behavior, having zero tolerance, and resetting individuals are important approaches.

How do you establish trust in a performance-based culture?

Fairness, non-personal preferences, and giving individuals a chance to reset are crucial for trust-building.

How do you prioritize and narrow down focus?

Constant conversations, demanding insanely great contributions, and stripping away unnecessary tasks are the methods used.

How do you think about the relationship between sales and product?

There is tension, but alignment is crucial. Sales problems are often product problems.

How do you assess whether the problem lies in sales or product?

Inspecting things at the front lines and experiencing reality firsthand is essential. Relying on second-hand information can be misleading.

How can an organization position itself for future success?

Recognize the need for transformation, be open-minded, and adapt to changes in the market and technology.

Is there anything that gives you hesitation about AI?

Yes, concerns about the fake news phenomenon and the potential for abuse and manipulation of avatars and voices.

How do you handle a mistake?

Personally, mistakes are seen as cultural teaching moments and opportunities for course correction. In organizations, it is important to avoid defending bad decisions and instead fail fast and correct.

How do you assess job performance during interviews?

Interviews are less valuable for certain roles like engineering, where skills can be tested directly. For other roles, it is important to gather information from colleagues and references who have worked with the candidate to assess their reputation and performance.

Key points and Insights

• The relationship with data is expected to become more significant, leading to a renaissance in intelligence and computing.

• Recognizing the need for transformation and executing it successfully is crucial for long-term success.

• The potential for AI to generate content is exciting but raises concerns about abuse and manipulation.

• The relationship between sales and product should be managed aggressively and aligned.

• Consistency and laying the foundation for future success are essential in sales.

• Mistakes should be seen as learning opportunities and used to drive course corrections.

• Fostering a culture of high standards and urgency can attract the right people and drive success.

• Focusing on critical tasks and narrowing down priorities leads to better results.

• Choosing and prioritizing are crucial for success in a new company.

• Behavior is a choice, and bad behavior should be dealt with swiftly.

• Trust is built through fairness and non-personal preferences.

Quotes

• You want to get bad behavior, out of an organization fast.

• Not choosing is the worst thing you can do because now you're compromising everything.

• Behavior is a choice, not a skill set.

• Great salespeople can't sell a bad product, but lousy salespeople can sell a great product.

• Sales problems are often product problems.

• Recognizing the need for transformation is essential for CEOs.

• Enriching and contextualizing data will revolutionize data analysis.

• As leaders, let's create an environment where great people feel like, yeah, this is a good place, this is a great place... that's what you want, that creates energy.

This edition of Enquirer Digest is about time management. I have been having many sessions lately with my Coachees on Time management.

Many of us see time management as a method or technique to be performed in order to manage time better. Although this is true from the face of things there is a deeper level to it. The reason for this is that when we want to implement time management, we are looking to change. That's not the main premise though. The main premise is I don't have enough time so I should implement something to have more time. As with many similar change initiatives the main question becomes "What's preventing me from managing my time better?". Obviously, this has many varieties of answers for different people.

This is where Laura Vanderkam comes into the picture. She underlined that to start working on time management we all need to first understand where we are spending our time. Otherwise, our minds can fool ourselves into thinking that we don't have time at all.

As you might guess this edition's podcast includes Laura Vanderkam. When you listen to her and hear that she has five kids ranging from 2 years to 15 years of age you might want to reconsider the phrase " I don't have enough time" :).

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Well who is Laura Vanderkam? This from her website:

"Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management and productivity books, including the new Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters, along with Juliet’s School of Possibilities, Off the Clock, I Know How She Does It, What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast, and 168 Hours. Her work has appeared in publications including the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Fast Company, and Fortune. She is the host of the podcast Before Breakfast and the co-host, with Sarah Hart-Unger, of the podcast Best of Both Worlds. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and five children, and blogs at LauraVanderkam.com."

Once you have identified where the time is spent Laura Vanderkam talks about 9 rules (from her latest book Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters). And you might be surprised to hear that some aren't about time management at all but about qualities of life that make us more productive.

Her 9 rules are as follows:

1. Give yourself a bedtime. Go to sleep at about the same time every night unless you have a good reason not to.

2. Plan on Fridays. Think through your weeks, holistically, before you’re in them.

3. Move by 3 p.m. Do some form of physical activity for ten minutes in the first half of every day.

4. Three times a week is a habit. Things don’t have to happen daily to become part of your identity, and “often” can be more doable than “always.”

5. Create a back-up slot. Make a resilient schedule where your priorities still happen, even when life doesn’t go as planned.

6. One big adventure, one little adventure. Each week do at least two things that will be worth remembering.

7. Take one night for you. Commit to an activity you love that is separate from work and household responsibilities.

8. Batch the little things. Keep most of your schedule clear from unimportant tasks.

9. Effortful before effortless. Do active leisure activities before passive ones whenever time opens up.

What I like about her 9 rules is that there is a balance between work personal time and other factors that are relevant to our lives such as sleep and exercise.

I do believe that with the planning bit a feedback loop should also be incorporated. Maybe it's in her book and was not part of the discussion. Still, I felt the need to give my two cents on it because without feedback loops it's difficult to improve the system you are going to try to implement.

Lastly, I do believe that with any change a support and accountability system is necessary to ensure lasting change.

In relation to this week’s subject the podcasts to listen to is:

The Ten Percent Happier Podcast with Dan Harris as Laura Vanderkam guest. The Title is : 9 Strategies to managing your time.

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Today's Article

Today's article is from Erich Dierdorff and the title of his article is Time Management Is About More Than Life Hacks (hbr.org)

The writer is claiming that there are many tools available to improve time management, but they won’t work without developing your time management skills in three key areas: awareness, arrangement, and adaptation. The author offers evidence-based tactics to improve in all three areas.

Today’s Quote

“Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don’t have time,’ is like saying, ‘I don’t want to.’”-Lao Tzu

I hope you enjoyed this edition of Enquirer Digest focused on time management. If you find yourself struggling to make the most of your time and want to implement effective strategies for change, I invite you to book a discovery call with me. Let's discuss your unique challenges and explore how I can help you reclaim control of your time and achieve greater productivity and balance in your life.

You can schedule your call with the link below:

Link for a Discovery Call

This edition's theme is Trust. Trust is an area that has always attracted attention. Trust has emotional aspects from an individual perspective. From a corporate perspective trust is one of the main pillars of a well-functioning corporate culture.

According to PwC's Global CEO Survey of 2016 PwC reported that 55% of CEOs think that a lack of trust is a threat to their organization’s growth. But most have done little to increase trust, mainly because they aren’t sure where to start.

Similarly in PwC's 2022 Global CEO survey report trust is again a focus point for corporates. The report states that:

We found that highly trusted companies are more likely to have made net-zero commitments and to have tied their CEO’s compensation to nonfinancial outcomes, such as employee engagement scores and gender diversity in the workforce. Correlation is not causation, and we’ll continue to explore these results. But at first blush, they suggest a relationship between trust and the ability to drive change —a means of moving beyond short-term, “it’s the next leader’s problem” thinking."

Trust in Teams

Trust has also found its place in relation to teams. Patrick Lencioni is famous for his book "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team". Patrick Lencioni explains that trust is the foundation of all high-performing teams. He defines trust as "the willingness to be vulnerable with others." Without trust, teams cannot effectively communicate, collaborate, or hold each other accountable.

As can be seen trust is truly one of the pillars of the corporate world.

This is exactly why I had chosen the podcast below as this week's podcast. It's from Coaching for leader's podcast and Dr Henry Cloud is the guest.

Who is Henry Cloud? Dr. Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert and best-selling author. Drawing on his extensive experience in business, leadership consulting, and clinical psychology, to impart practical and effective advice for improving leadership skills and business performance.

In this podcast his book Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken is at the center of discussion.

Being an executive coach for over 5 years I have come across "trust" many times in my sessions. Many new leaders struggle with the concept and how to establish trust in their teams. Although the podcast is more about repairing trust it does shed a good amount of light on trust essentials.

Self-awareness and its role in trust repair

What had really struck me was the fact that repairing trust is not about the person who betrayed your trust, but it is about you. Getting betrayed hits, us hard. This shakes us and our judgement gets clouded. We generally tend to react with our habitual reactions. Successful executives don't react, they gather and call on the people they trust. These can be their team members or a coach or mentor. They tend to show vulnerability that they might not be in a situation to decide, and they call on their support group.

Repairing trust starts with you where self-awareness is key in recognizing one's reactive behavior and calling in assistance from your support group.

In relation to this week’s subject the podcasts to listen to is:

The Starting Point for Repairing Trust, with Henry Cloud Episode 626 of the Coaching for Leaders podcast

Today's Article

Today's article on this week's theme is by Paul J. Zak. His article was published in the Harvard Business Review. The article is The Neuroscience of Trust.

Paul J. Zak hypothesized that there must be a neurologic signal that indicates when we should trust someone. This was related to the Oxytocin hormone. Oxytocin is a hormone that is released when we interact with people we trust. It helps to promote feelings of empathy, compassion, and cooperation. Oxytocin also helps to reduce stress and anxiety, which can make us more likely to trust others.

In the article, Zak describes a study in which he and his colleagues found that people who were given a nasal spray containing oxytocin were more likely to trust strangers than those who were given a placebo. The study also found that oxytocin increased the amount of money that people were willing to give to strangers.

Zak believes that oxytocin plays a critical role in the development of trust. He argues that oxytocin helps us to feel safe and secure, which makes us more likely to open up to others and to form trusting relationships.

Through experiments and surveys, Zak identified eight management behaviors that foster trust.

• Ovation: Celebrating the contributions of high performers.

• eXpectation: Setting clear expectations for employees.

• Yield: Giving employees discretion in how they do their work.

• Transfer: Sharing information broadly.

• Openness: Being transparent and honest with employees.

• Caring: Showing concern for employees' well-being.

• Invest: Investing in employees' development.

• Natural: Being authentic and genuine with employees.

Today’s Quote

Today's Quote is from Jodi Picoult

"Trust is like a mirror: you can only see it if you look into it." Jodi Picoult

This edition's subject will be vulnerability. I am sure most of you when I say vulnerability will rightfully think about Brené Brown . Rightfully this edition will be about how she dispels some myths about vulnerability. Let's dive in. As always, the link to the podcast is below.

The main myth is that vulnerability is a weakness. Brown argues that we have been brought up and taught to be not vulnerable. We were taught not to put ourselves out here. It was defined as an uncertain behavior full of emotions and it was deemed risky. This is especially true for work where there's less trust and confidence and the fact, we try to become someone different than who we are.

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So how do we let go of putting up defences and having the courage to be vulnerable?

• Brown goes on to explain that the armor we build around our traumatic experiences no longer serves us in midlife and prevents us from being seen and growing. She suggests that in midlife, we need to identify the armor and the weapons that kept us safe and let go of those that no longer serve us. Brown further recommends working with professionals if necessary to peel off the armor and shift the goal from proving and perfecting to stretching and learning. This will allow us to try new things without fear of failure and experience growth.

One of the ideas that resonated with me was the leadership aspect of vulnerability. Brown makes the argument that not everyone wants brave leadership, because brave leadership puts demands on people to also be courageous, and to also be self-aware. This in turn puts more importance on getting things right than being right. Being a courageous leader, as well as following a brave leader, is not easy and requires strength and determination. So, it's not obvious that everyone wants courageous leadership.

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What I really liked in this podcast and what really made an impact was what "appropriate vulnerability" is. Learning about something is of course important but understanding how to implement it is unbelievably valuable. Sometimes you may be in a sensitive position, and you may need to be vulnerable, but the question is who to be vulnerable with? So, in essence just because vulnerability helps to build trust doesn't mean we should share everything in all situations with all people.

What would this sharing look like? Well, you might say

"I'm really struggling right now. I've got some stuff going on for me, support for me looks like being able to share this with you and being able to bring it up with you when it's helpful for me, but I don't want to share all the details to it."

This is enormously powerful and empowering as it relieves the pressure and provides a sense of control. This is a big relief because feeling the need to share when you really don't want to share as much creates pressure. Further to that sharing to share because there was an expectation to share is an act of fitting in rather than belonging. Very liberating to say the least.

To conclude, true authenticity requires more work than just being vulnerable in front of others. Vulnerability is about understanding and seeing people as individuals with unique experiences and perspectives. The goal is to create a space where everyone feels they have a place and can be their authentic selves.

In relation to this week’s subject the podcasts to listen to is:

Today's Article

Today's article is "The Best Leaders aren't afraid to vulnerable" by Janice Omadeke, PMP published in Harvard business review.

Today’s Quote

“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.” ― Paulo Coelho - Eleven Minutes

This week’s edition will be about productivity. I have chosen productivity this week because I really liked Cal Newport's approach that includes a different look at productivity.

In relation to this week’s subject the podcasts to listen to is:

Is productivity about optimization or autonomy?

Basically, in the episode Cal Newport states that productivity is generally discussed as an optimization approach. By optimization he defines it as where it’s grinding, hustling. Producing more or the number of things you get done.

The second framework he puts forward is the autonomy framework. Cal Newport states that if you have an effective productivity system the result of the system can provide you with options. Cal Newport explains his system as Capture, Configure, Control. From his own words:

"At a high level, capture, configure, control is about capturing things, obligations that enter your life, They move out of your mind. That alone is a huge stress reliever. Then comes configure is the glue of the caption Configure Control framework. It's where you make sense of all these obligations. You figure out what they mean critically. It's where you implement your specific, intentional workload management systems. How much of this different type of work? Can I reasonably do what are my quotas here? What once it's captured, do I keep going on with what do I push out? If something has to happen later, when am I going to do it? It's where you actually make sense of all of your obligations in an intentional way. Not doing configure is what creates haphazard busyness. So when you have something like a capture, configure, control framework in action, you move away from haphazard busyness."

Once you've taken control of the obligations in your professional life, you have options. It's up to you what you do with those options, but the message is that you can use the options intentionally for whatever is that you want to focus on.

To sum up Cal Newport states that if you see productivity as just completing tasks on your to-do list it’s not going to create too much value. If you capture all what you need to do with intentionality and configure the work accordingly, you will take control of the obligations (personal or professional) you need to complete. Once those are in order then you will have options.

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Today's Article

Today's article is the one that Cal Newport is mentioning in the podcast

The relentless rise of the productivity influencer

Quote from article

“In recent years, the popularity of heavily staged managed self optimization has diversified beyond the tech Bros of Silicon Valley, spotting the rise of a new influencer niche, the productivity guru. These content creators have gained thousands of followers by posting time saving tips, life hacks, and productivity advice online."

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Today’s Quote

• "The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities." - Stephen Covey

It has been some time since I have written the Enquirer Digest. As you all know Turkey has experienced a devastating earthquake and it has taken time for me to get back into my old ways.

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I would like to renew my call for donations as the earthquake zone now has about 2 million people living in tent establishments. These people are still in need of aid.

Here are two aid organizations that are regularly active and present in the earthquake impacted areas.

• AHBAP - Humanitarian Needs NGO: https://lnkd.in/dVb4ajhz

• AKUT - Search & Rescue NGO: https://lnkd.in/dFVTikCi

The people who have not experienced the earthquake first-hand have still been severely impacted by the event, due to increased levels of stress and anxiety. This is due to the constant worry about the safety of those affected and the potential for another earthquake. These heightened levels of stress can have a detrimental effect on their daily lives, from their work to their relationships. Furthermore, they are concerned about the future of the country and the possibility of another disaster. As a result, today's newsletter will be about anxiety.

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In relation to this week’s subject the podcasts to listen to is:

The Happiness Lab with Laurie Santos Episode: Stepping of the Path of Anxiety

I had listened to this to prior to the earthquake that explains anxiety in simple terms and how self-awareness and certain tools related self-awareness can help.

Here are some highlights from the podcast on anxiety:

• Nobody decides to wake up at two in the morning and worry. Nobody decides to have a pit in my stomach all afternoon and feel shaky. These takeover mechanisms happen automatically and unconsciously.

• Anxiety can manifest in several ways, mostly physically and mentally. It's worrisome thoughts, its fight or flight in the body. How people experience it can be a spectrum.

• Anxiety is about the future and based on events from the past.

• Worrying can cause anxious sensations. Sometimes you cannot understand even when you are having the sensations. Furthermore, this can create self-blame. How can I still have anxious thoughts?

• What to do?

  • Becoming aware of the anxiety is the start. Even if you continue to feel the anxiety it’s still a good start.

  • As mentioned above there can be self-blame. We don't want these feelings, so resisting is understandable. Nevertheless, resistance to these feelings unfortunately doesn't help. This is where Self compassion is important for anxiety.

• Some tools to practice:

  • Deep breathing. Our breath is shallow when we are anxious. Deepening the breath and slowing our breath calms our system.

  • Observing and leaning into our anxiety: Although this is a challenge observing our anxious thoughts feelings and via meditation or just sitting calmly to observe.

    • It's important to separate the sensations from the stories. Noticing the sensations in your body without judgement is key.

  • Introspection:

    • 4 questions for anxiety:

      • The thought that creates worry or anxiety.

        • Is that true?

        • Are you absolutely sure it's true?

        • How do I feel when I believe that thought?

        • Who would you be without that thought?

In conclusion:

• Self-awareness can be helpful in reducing anxiety because it allows individuals to better understand and manage their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When people are more self-aware, they can recognize the signs and triggers of anxiety and develop coping strategies to manage these symptoms.

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Today's Article

Today's article is from Mark Manson. https://markmanson.net/self-awareness

Although there is a place which I don't totally agree with him in the article. He states that "And the act of looking deeper itself will sometimes generate more feelings of anxiety, despair, and self-judgment than it relieves." You can only have this happen if you aren't present or self-aware. Which is a very deep area to delve into and which I wouldn't want to get into now. Other than it's a very long read but with valuable information.

Today’s Quote

Today's subject is about emotional intelligence. Some of you that know me will know that I am quite appreciative of Daniel Goleman and his work. Today will be about a criticism of his work. I listened to a podcast of Adam Grant that had Merve Emre as a guest. The link of the podcast can be found below.

I did hear certain similar opinions that Emre voiced and so it was refreshing to hear some of those views. I should point out that quite a bit of the podcast covers Merve Emre's article that she wrote in the New Yorker on April 12,2021 (April 19, 2021, issue) The Repressive Politics of Emotional Intelligence. Not surprisingly this week's article will be this article (link below).

Who is Merve Emre?

From the New Yorker site:

Merve Emre is a contributing writer at The New Yorker and an associate professor of English at the University of Oxford. She is the author of “Paraliterary: The Making of Bad Readers in Postwar America,” “The Ferrante Letters,” and “The Personality Brokers: The Strange History of Myers-Briggs and the Birth of Personality Testing,” which was the basis for the documentary feature film “Persona.” She is the editor of the books “Once and Future Feminist,” “The Annotated Mrs. Dalloway,” and the Norton Library’s “Mrs. Dalloway.” In 2019, she was awarded a Philip Leverhulme Prize, and her work has been supported by the Whiting Foundation, the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, the Leverhulme Trust, the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada, and the Institute for Advanced Study in Berlin, where she was a fellow from 2020 to 2021.

In relation to this week’s subject the podcasts to listen to is:

Thanks for reading Enquirer Digest! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Here is how I understood what Merve Emre is stating. I have also added my comments (the below includes her New Yorker article as well ) :

Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence was recently republished. The republished book didn't have any major update from the original book.

• This makes sense. With so much more research performed there should have been certain improvements and/or clarifications made for the book.

Individual vs. Societal Context

Merve Emre argues that it is important to consider the individual and the social together in the context of emotional intelligence, as individuals are socialized to perceive and manage their emotions in certain ways. She suggests that while there may be some people who are naturally more adept in this area, separating the individual from the social dimension can be a disservice to the concept.

• I agree. And certainly, the famous marshmallow experiment performed on kids has a social impact that was discussed in the podcast explained this very clearly. Basically the experiment is ( Walter Mischel marshmallow study) that there are children who have a single marshmallow in front of them, and the strong desire, the intense emotion is to eat it there and then. Then the question is, can they wait 15 minutes, and if they can, they will be rewarded with not one, but two marshmallows. In a recent study it was found out that the children who grew up in poverty were much less likely to be able to resist the temptation. This is just a small example which strengthens Merve Emre's claims.

The idea of corporate control and emotional intelligence.

• Basically, what Merve Emre suggests is that people should not have to worry about the security of their job or the profitability of the work that they do if they are not performing emotional labour at the level desired. Instead, it should be okay to be disinterested without fear of repercussions.

• I do agree with Emre here. I do believe companies have to take responsibility and act on the climate and culture that's been predominant in their organizations. As was discussed in the podcast many companies are content with providing certain training for stress management and the like. Instead of these trainings as a quick remedy whereas a more strong cure to the illness is required.

Today's Article

• **The Repressive Politics of Emotional Intelligence** by Merve Emre . The article was published in the New Yorker on April 12, 2021 ( April 19, 2021 issue)

Today’s Quote

Today's Quote is from Merve Emre's New Yorker article.

"It is a vision of personal freedom achieved, paradoxically, through constant self-regulation. “Emotional Intelligence” imagines a world constituted of little more than a series of civil interactions between employer and employee, husband and wife, friend and neighbor. People are linked by nothing more than, as Foucault summarized, the “instinct, sentiment, and sympathy” that underwrite their mutual success and their shared “repugnance for the misfortune of individuals” who cannot get a grip on their inner lives." Merve Emre

Today's quote has been resurfaced by Readwise

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Enquirer Digest had to have a break as I was on a 2-week retreat. After the 2-week break the piled-up work had to be taken care of. My apologies for taking so long.

For this week's edition I had no intention of writing about diversity and race. It wasn't until I stumbled on the Kwame Christian's Interview on the Coaching for Leaders podcast. I wanted to complete the year with this podcast as it talks about how to have difficult conversations about race. I do believe that many things that were discussed were valuable not only because they relate to race but any difficult conversation.

I also do believe that matters of race and diversity get attention with events but thereafter seem to lose their effect. This can be observed by the tragic loss of George Floyd which happened in May of 2020. The verdict was finalized this July 2022. And although it was debated heavily and talked about it doesn't seem to have influenced the race and diversity issues for the workplace.

In relation to race issues in the workplace Mckinsey has published a survey "Race in the Workplace: The Frontline experience"

(https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/race-in-the-workplace-the-frontline-experience)

It covers frontline employees. The definition provided in the report is as follows:

• For this report, we define frontline workers as those who work directly with customers or are directly involved in making or selling a product or providing a service (such as cashiers, salespeople, and housekeeping staff). These positions do not require advanced technical skills or credentials. Although in some circumstances professionals with advanced degrees (such as doctors, nurses, and teachers) are considered frontline workers, we are excluding them from this report because their experiences differ from frontline hourly and salaried workers.
  

• The report states that: Today, approximately 70 percent of the US workforce is concentrated in frontline jobs. However, there is an ambition gap: 70 percent of workers want to advance, but just one in four will.

• Some findings of the survey are as follows:

  • Just 39 percent of hourly respondents believe their employer takes an objective, empirical view of performance and promotion.

  • Our analysis also revealed a sizable gap between the desire of employees of color to advance and

    the availability of opportunities to do so. White frontline employees were most likely to report receiving advancement opportunities despite stating the lowest desire for promotion.
    

• As the Mckinsey survey was in relation to the US I also wanted to see if it was similar elsewhere. I came across another research for the UK. This was performed by Ipsos. Comparable results were seen in their research as well. Please see below the main finding:

  • 41 percent of British workers say the murder of George Floyd two years ago has impacted the way their company handles race-related matter at least a little, increasing to 57 percent of those from ethnic minority backgrounds.

  • However, although this impact mostly saw companies more willing to take action, only 43 percent of affected workers say this commitment has lasted.

• As can be seen there seems to be a lot of work still to be done. I wish 2023 to become a year where racial injustice and diversity will see better days.

In relation to this week’s subject the podcasts to listen to is:

• Episode 594: How to begin difficult conversations about Race, with Kwame Christian by Coaching for Leaders. Here is the link to the episode.

• A small introduction to Kwame Christian. According to his bio in American Negotiation Institute website Kwame Christian is a best-selling author, business lawyer and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute (ANI). Following the viral success of his TedxDayton talk

• Kwame released his best-seller Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life in 2018. He’s also a regular Contributor for Forbes and the host of the number one negotiation podcast in the world, Negotiate Anything – which currently has over 5 million downloads worldwide. Under Kwame’s leadership, ANI has coached and trained several Fortune 500 companies on applying the fundamentals of negotiation to corporate success.

Today's Article

In this edition instead of an article I wanted to include two research that I have mentioned above:

• Mckinsey Survey

  • https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/race-in-the-workplace-the-frontline-experience

• Ipsos Survey

  • https://www.ipsos.com/en-uk/2-years-on-understanding-work-experiences-of-uk-employees-after-murder-of-george-floyd

Today’s Quote

You will remember from the last edition that we had covered Brené Brown podcast "What's Happening at work". There were two episodes and this week I will cover the second episode. This episode also featured Simon Sinek and Adam Grant

Again, great points were made, and insights were provided. This time the episode was more about Quiet Quitting, engagement and setting boundaries.

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Today's Podcast

Before you start reading here is the link to the episode.

I was particularly surprised when a part of disengagement that led to quit quitting was coined as "neglect". Nevertheless, it didn't take for them to leave the "neglect" terminology. I really enjoyed the point that Brene Brown made on that Quiet Quitting doesn't provide relief and that only loud quitting may provide some relief. She went on to underline that quiet quitting still damages one's mental health in the process.

One other interesting point that was raised was that it wasn't only just people quiet quitting bad companies with bad workplaces but also good companies. This was attributed to the fact that after COVID many have started to look for a work-life balance beyond what it was previously.

The main insight of the conversation was as follows:

So, when a leader asks, "can you work a few hours on Saturday?” That’s still okay. That doesn’t violate the boundary of work-life balance. These boundaries also must be maintained by the people. These definitions and understandings shouldn't be treated as absolutes but as dials where both the leader their people have boundaries to manage in an understanding and flexible way. Where people can respond to the leader yes, I can work on a Saturday but should be to say, " I care about my work, I am going to go above and beyond when I can, but I am not going to risk my relationships, my health, and my mental well-being for the company".

In response a leader should be able to communicate “Thank you for working long hours that weekend to get that project deliverable out, I really appreciate it. Take some time off next week. Let me make it back up to you.”

The reality portrayed here is true but awfully hard to implement in real life. People need to believe their leaders and trust must be present in the relationship. I do believe that trust and authenticity on both sides are a prerequisite to a healthy workplace relationship.

Today's Article

This week's article is from Harvard Business Review

When quiet quitting is worse than the real thing an article written by Anthony C. Klotz and Mark C. Bolino

Here are three things the article underlines to remedy the situation

Redefine Core Job Tasks

• recalibrate employees’ core job responsibilities to reflect what work more accurately is necessary

Motivate by citizenship crafting

• The idea of citizenship crafting is based on the concept of job crafting in which people redesign their work by altering aspects of the job itself (task crafting), the people with whom they work (relationship crafting), and their mindset about their jobs (cognitive crafting) in ways that play to their strengths, motives, and passions.

Listen, Then Invest

• Leaders should not only be available to connect with employees themselves, but they should also encourage and incentivize managers to stay abreast of how their employees are feeling

Today's Quote

• Although not from the podcast the quote comes from Adam Grant as resurfaced by Readwise

“Quiet quitting” isn’t laziness. Doing the bare minimum is a common response to bullshit jobs, abusive bosses, and low pay. When they don’t feel cared about, people eventually stop caring. If you want them to go the extra mile, start with meaningful work, respect, and fair pay. Adam Grant

I have not picked a theme this week. I have been listening to a great Podcast by Brené Brown - Dare to Lead. There were two episodes entitled "What's happening at work". This week I will cover the first episode.

The episodes aired back-to-back and had two great names as guests. Simon Sinek and Adam Grant. I believe that those two do not require any introduction. They have made immense impact in their respective areas and around the world. The episodes covered touched upon different areas which were on quiet quitting, employee well-being, leadership, setting boundaries and difficult conversations.

I will be providing my opinions on the subjects that were covered along with the insights they have provided throughout. Today's newsletter will have an article as always. As it was an integral part of the discussion in the podcast, I have decided to incorporate this article which also includes Gallup's research on quiet quitting.

 Today's Podcast

Before you start reading here is the link to the first episode.

As Dare to Lead is a Spotify original which you can only listen in Spotify.

Great Awkward

I did like the fact that Brene Brown coined the current landscape as the "great awkward" as many people are just trying find a way to be better and happier but really struggling to do so. As was also pointed out by Adam Grant and Simon Sinek there is a disparity on how leaders-senior management see their people and how the people really feel.

Optimism!

Although the main idea brought forward to the podcast was that many people are struggling it was also underlined that COVID had forced some people to rethink their work and lives in a good way.

I really liked this as generally with these kinds of podcasts and webinars it is quite easy for speakers to go the negative aspect of things. Hearing the positive aspect has made me feel hopeful.

On the note of positivity Simon Sinek's hopeful approach has also inspired me. His words were:

"I’m hoping all of this pushes us, is that it reinforces the human relationship in a very, very cave man way. In a very un-technological way, sitting in a room with someone and having an uncomfortable conversation and the other person knowing how to hold space for that uncomfortable conversation. Which includes joy and anxiety and all other things at the same time."

This was one of the most powerful messages. Having a non-technological discussion just being present with the matter at hand. Priceless!

Further in the episode Simon continued his hopeful and optimistic stance with the following words:

.".. vulnerability in the ’80s and ’90s? Thanks, but no, thanks. The fact that there’s demand for our work means that people are hungry for this. And that’s a good thing."

Toxic Culture

Adam Grant pointed out research by Donald Sull on Toxic Culture. One of the findings being that the main factor (10 times more than other cultural attributes including money) for people leaving companies is the toxic culture.

One of the main messages and learnings that corporates need to get from this is that if we want to attract and retain talent the culture has be improved into a humane environment.

I believe one of the strongest statements of the podcast was about the toxic high performers (or high-performing jerk as Brene Brown underlined 😊).

"If you have a system where you can be a high performer and toxic, then you have a broken system."

"You are not a high performer if you don’t make other people better, full stop."

Your job then as the leader or manager is to figure out what does it mean in your culture to make other people better? Do you need to share your knowledge freely? Do you need to mentor junior people? Do you need to set boundaries? Adam Grant

A warning from Simon Sinek for companies:

"...what so many businesses do is they take those stories [stories about high performing teams], and they try to make them into high performing individuals."

Another warning from Simon. Toxic People if coachable should be coached for improvement.

In my words not his is that leaders must be courageous and not be hypocrites with toxic people. Leaders tend to keep toxic people as they tend to deliver results. As Simon points out:

"...if you’re going to make a deal with the devil, if you’re going to eat lots of chocolate cake instead of exercising, you can do it for a little bit, you just can’t do it for long. "

The words of Adam Grant concluded the toxic culture part quite well :

"The most meaningful way to succeed is to help other people succeed."

Root Cause

I agree with Simon Sinek as he rightfully pointed the root cause to individualism. The individualism culture that has been fostered in the US in recent decades. Brene Brown strengthened this idea by stating that the need for people is pathologized as a weakness

 My final words:

I listened to the podcast with hope for the future for all of us. Messages related to listening to each other, helping others, and setting boundaries for our well-being were immensely powerful.

Today's Article 

           - This week's article is “Is Quiet Quitting Real?" by Jim Harter. 

                       - https://www.gallup.com/workplace/398306/quiet-quitting-real.aspx 

           - Main highlights from the article: 

                       - At least half of the U.S. workforce is quiet quitting 

                       - The workplace, amid the pandemic, got worse for younger workers 

                       - Managers are essential to combatting quiet quitting 

Today's Quote 

As resurfaced by Readwise

           “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Mahatma Gandhi   

Hello Enquirers

Our theme for this week is feedback. With November right around the corner, the feedback season is upon us. Both leaders and their people are braced for difficult conversations disguised under the "feedback" itself.

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Feedback

Over the years feedback, how to give feedback even receive feedback have been discussed immensely. Some of my learnings from my years in the corporate world in relation to feedback are as follows:

1. Giving feedback is seen as something like a "to do" by leaders. Something that must be done and over with. Hopefully quickly.

2. It's a relief for many leaders if the department is performing well which will make it easier to provide feedback and not have deal with handing out low ratings.

3. It's a skill no leader has really mastered. Why? Well, to improve a skill you must exercise it. With feedback frequencies semi-annual or maximum quarterly leaders don't have the necessary exercise.

Feedback is an ongoing process.

Leaders have to be on the watch and pick up information and provide timely feedback. It's an ongoing process just like any other daily process (at least is should be). As Daniel Goleman explains leaders can draw onto 6 leadership styles which are Coercive, Authoritative, Affiliative, pacesetting, Democratic, and Coaching styles.

As Daniel Goleman states in his famous article "Leadership That Gets Results" (Harvard Business Review March- April 2000)

Feedback keeping its importance

With remote work gaining a stronger foothold and quiet quitting upon us feedback and developing people are going to be important as ever.

In relation to this week’s subject the podcast to listen to is:

The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

Randall Stutman: The Essence of Leadership [The Knowledge Project Ep. 96

Randall Stutman's opinion on feedback is as follows:

• To correctly give feedback, be sure to keep it in an even proportion.

• When you pay attention to criticizing the recipient, try offering an equal amount of positive feedback.

• If you repeatedly give criticism, people stop listening, and may become defensive.

• If you have previously only provided positive feedback, people may become surprised when you provide a negative comment.

Today's Article

This week's article is from Korn Ferry written b y Daniel Goleman.

My favourite message from the article is :

You may read the article here:

https://www.kornferry.com/insights/this-week-in-leadership/feedback-performance-management-emotional-intelligence

Today's Quote

Our theme for this week is procrastination. Procrastination is a quite common subject that has been discussed over the years. Many things have been said and discussed about procrastination. The search for a solution and to find meaning has increased exponentially over the years. If you look at Google search analytics on the word "procrastination" it has increased fourfold since 2004.

Before I delve into my opinion on procrastination, please find below two podcasts in relation to procrastination that I believe you will enjoy.

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In relation to this week’s subject the podcasts to listen to are:

The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

Nir Eyal: Mastering Indistraction - Episode 104

Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

World's Leading Expert on How to Solve Procrastination - Dr Tim Pychyl

Procrastination

What is procrastination? In latin it means to put off until tomorrow. It also entails the greek word "akrasia" meaning "doing something

against our better judgment". “Procrastination is essentially irrational,” says Dr. Fuschia Sirois, professor of psychology at the University of Sheffield. She adds; “People engage in this irrational cycle of chronic procrastination because of an inability to manage negative moods around a task.”

Procrastination is a way to deal with challenging emotions and negative feelings caused by certain tasks boredom, anxiety, fear, frustration, resentment, self-doubt, and beyond.

Procrastination is an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem,” said Dr. Tim Pychyl, professor of psychology.

I haven't met anyone who hasn't procrastinated in their lives. It has captured us all in stressful times. Is it important?

Harvard economist David Laibson proved that workers who favor 401(k)s have neglected thousands of dollars only a step away from retirement because they were too occupied with signing up. So yes, there may be many areas in which we are hurting ourselves.

How to beat procrastination? Two ways stand out:

1. Reward mechanisms

   1. We must find a better reward than avoidance, one that's able to alleviate our challenging feelings in the moment without inflicting harm to our future selves.
      

   2. This ties beautifully into how James Clear explains the reward

   effect for habits. James Clear says to change a behavior simply ask yourself:
   

   • How can I make it:

     • Obvious, attractive, easy? satisfying?

2. Self-Compassion

   1. According to 2012 research that studied the relationship between stress,

      compassion, and procrastination in a laboratory setting, Dr. Sirois found that procrastinators have high stress as well as low self-compassion. This suggests
      that self-compassion serves as a buffer against negative reactions to self-relevant events.
      

Today's Article

This week’s article is "What does procrastination tell us about ourselves?" from James Surowiecki. The article was published in 2010 in the New Yorker.

Today's Quote

Sources for this newsletter

1. What does procrastination tell us about ourselves?" from James

   Surowiecki. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2010/10/11/later

2. James Clear website https://jamesclear.com/procrastination

3. Article from NY times Why you procrastinate (It has nothing to do with self-control)

Regret is universal. Anybody over six years of age has regret.

Normalize and neutralize regret

Instead of permitting regret to govern our thoughts and actions, we can accept that we've all made some mistakes that we regret. Knowing regret is something shared by all human beings helps us to normalize and negate the guilty sensation associated with regret. The moment we normalize the emotion of regret, we can use it to craft a redemption story. Research shows that people who are made to reflect about redemption stories are happier, more successful, and find more meaning in their daily life. Regrets create an infinitely better starting place for new redemption narratives. For example, if you regret not eating healthy when you were young, you now have an excellent opportunity to transform your diet and become healthy. By performing a generous act to outweigh a selfish act, a thoughtful act to outweigh a careless act, and hard work to offset prior laziness, you will be able to make a character-defining moment. Regrets are like tattoos, you can cover them up by going through some effort, but a mark will remain. However, it is helpful. Regret residue can provide you with the motivation you require to anticipate future regret and can enable you to build a life of which you are proud.

Anticipate future regret

Author Daniel Pink conducted a very widespread survey and gathered 16,000 regrets from people in 105 countries. Pink found that all human regret falls into four categories: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets.

Foundation regrets: If only I had done the work.

• For example: "If only I was disciplined with my eating, I wouldn't have so many health problems today."

Boldness regrets: If only I had taken that risk.

• For example: “If only I'd asked that girl out.” Or “If only I'd started that business.”

Moral regrets: If only I had acted tight.

• For example: “I wish I hadn't lied”

Connection regrets: If only I had reached out.

• For example: If only I'd apologized and fixed our relationship sooner.”

Setup a recurring reminder or mail for and think about how it would have been if you had a bad week. Anticipating regrets on a weekly basis will prevent unimportant things turning into regrets.

Our theme for this week is Regret. It does sound like a dark subject, but I assure you there will be a positive look to it. At the beginning of 2022 Daniel Pink published a book about Regret "The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward". As a result, Daniel Pink will be at the heart of this issue as we will be having a look at the things he has to say about regret.

In relation to this week’s subject the podcast to listen to is:

The Diary of A CEO with Steven Bartlett hosted Daniel Pink in the following episode:

E130: The Real Trick to Long Term Motivation: Daniel Pink.

In part of that episode Pink discussed his views on regret. I presume that it was found powerful, so the regret portion was published separately. If you prefer to listen to just the regret part this would be your choice.

Moment 67 -The HIDDEN Power of REGRET: Daniel Pink

Regret

Let us start with what regret is:

Marshall Goldsmith defines Regret in his Book Triggers as follows:

Regret is the emotion we experience when we assess our present circumstances and reconsider how we got here. We replay what we actually did against what we should have done—and find ourselves wanting in some way. Regret can hurt.

Types of Regret

Daniel Pink conducted an expansive regret survey and gathered 16,000 regrets from people all around the world (105 countries). Pink found that all human regret falls into four categories:

1.    Foundation regrets: If only I had done the work.

2.    Boldness regrets: If only I had taken that risk.

3.    Moral regrets: If only I had done the right thing.

4.    Connection regrets: If only I had reached out.

"If foundation regrets arise from the failure to plan ahead, work hard, follow through, and build a stable platform for life, boldness regrets...arise from the failure to take full advantage of that platform—to use it as a springboard into a richer life." ‐ Daniel Pink

Author Daniel Pink discovered that two-thirds of all the regrets in his survey were regrets of inaction. Projects not started, people not contacted, words not said. This makes sense because if you do something wrong you get to see the outcome and take redemptive action to reduce the regret overtime. But when you don't act, you're left wondering what could have been.

What can be done about Regret?

Rather than allowing regret to consume our thoughts, interfere with our actions, and damage our happiness, we can acknowledge that everybody makes mistakes they regret.

Knowing that regret is part of the shared human experience allows us to normalize and neutralize the shamefulness of regret. We can use regret to create a redemption story once we normalize and contain the spirit of regret. Research reveals that people who tell redemption stories have happier, more accomplished, and more meaningful lives. Regrets are the starting point for crafting a new redemption story.

Although I agree in theory, the implementation is not as easy as it sounds. First off regret is an emotion for which we have no one else to blame. Going back to regret can create shame, frustration, anger, and all other kinds of unwanted negative emotions. This makes it extremely difficult to go back and delve into it. Although it is exceedingly difficult it paradoxically looks like this is the road to take.

This reminds me of Tara Brach's book “Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha.” where she talks about suffering and fear.

In the chapter about fear, there is a part titled “Leaning into Fear.” Although leaning into fear is fearful Tara Brach says:

How can we lean into our regrets?

There can be diverse ways to do this. Talking about regret and sharing pain seems to be one of the ways forward. Admitting your regrets to a close friend or writing them can make you feel better.

In a research study, researchers had subjects talk about their regrets for 15 minutes a day. After four weeks, participants were observed to have higher levels of life satisfaction and overall mental well-being. Daniel Pink underlines that this works because talking about our regrets can make them more concrete.

To sum up:

1. Do not push away regret. Accept them, work on them create redemption stories

2. Anticipate what actions may cause regret and take action accordingly.

3. Inaction is the main source of regret. When you don't act, you're left wondering what could have been.

Today's Article

Today’s Article on regret is from Mark Manson. A short and powerful read into regret. You can find the article below:

"How to Let go of your regrets"

Mark Manson's article provides similar insight to regret as Daniel Pink does. I especially like how he defines regret:

"I would argue a regret is simply a mistake that we haven’t learned the proper lesson

from yet."

He goes on to argue that going through your regrets, accepting them, and letting them go is the way to be free.

He finishes the article with a powerful ending.

"In the end, the slow burn of regret that carries on for years is really just a death by a thousand tiny cuts. So let your regrets turn into a raging wildfire that kills everything in its path. You can sow the seeds for something better in the ashes."

Today's Quote

I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done.

Lucille Ball

Quote resurfaced by Readwise

I should underline that I'm new to newsletter writing and how it works. Your feedback is essential. Please write to me about what's going well and what may need to work on at anilerkan@gmail.com.

Here's my current structure: I'll write about my thoughts on the related content for that week. This will be one Podcast, one Article and one quote that are related.

Inside Today's Enquirer Digest:

We will be starting with Happiness. A difficult concept as everybody is subject to it and wants it. Not only that but everybody has a definition of it in relation to their past experiences.

Today's podcast is: Happiness Lab with Laurie Santos - Episode: You Can Change

When I first came across The Happiness Lab, I didn't have high hopes. It was a podcast about happiness. Having been working on myself through Dharma I knew that happiness was a tough concept. Nevertheless, Laurie Santos nails it with the podcast. When you listen to this first episode, I can't imagine anybody not continuing to the rest of the episodes.

The episode concentrates on the definition of happiness, how it is measured and draws attention to the longest made study on Happiness.

It's a valuable listen which concludes that happiness can be attained and that happiness factors are surprisingly different than what most think it is. One of them was Money and wealth isn't a happiness factor.

I did find the podcast particularly useful and informative. One can only be happy with all the information covered in a 30-minute episode. I did find that the happiness definition required some other angle to it. Namely "presence". Although in the podcast itself where happiness improvement strategies are discussed the strategies can be related to presence. I have covered what the "presence" angle to happiness is below.

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Presence in light of Happiness

Happiness is an outcome everybody strives for. The main misconception that many have is that once a certain goal or desired state is reached it will result in happiness. It is true achieving a desired state creates joy, satisfaction, and similar feelings. The issue is that these don't last. Let's assume we change jobs, and we were able to land a higher position, or we get promoted. We will get congratulated by our family and social circle; we will feel good, happy but after several weeks the feeling will dissipate, and the new situation will become a status quo. Striving for happiness in this manner is an endless loop that doesn't end up in fulfillment to say the least.

Happiness is what we are made to believe...

I was taught early on by my family, friends, social circle and society that I must achieve something to be happy. I believe this is universal and applies to all cultures. Maybe the forms may be different but in its essence it's the same. Achieving safety especially via financial freedom equals the formula for happiness.

I remember the formula vividly. You had to work hard to be a successful student. This would open the doors to a good university education and that would pave the way to a good job. Once you have enough financial freedom to have bought an apartment and a car you will be happy.

The funny thing is I did all that by the time I was in my thirties and happiness was still something that was still coming and going.

Being Present and its connection to Happiness

After working on myself for 8 years through Dharma I have come to realize that there is no future state to be achieved. The past is gone and has no meaning. Being stuck in the future and the past is taking me away from the present moment and in being content with the present moment. There is nothing else but the present. We can choose to be at peace with whatever is happening in the present moment (and be happy). Alternatively, we can:

• get bogged down with our regrets of the past or

• get stuck in the search of a future state that may or may not happen

I think we all know what we should be choosing.

Life is an ever-changing flow and I have learned that to be happy it helps to just let go of the past, live in the present and not worry about the future. It's all happening now.

I can hear you say,

Being Present - The way forward

One needs to stay focused to be aware of what is currently going on. That can be achieved through a certain level of concentration. It may sound complicated and very technical but actually it's not that difficult to put into practice.

A simple example: Let's assume you are brushing your teeth. If you are not in the present moment, you are most probably in the past or future. You may be thinking about the argument you had yesterday with a friend, or your mind might be off to the stressful presentation you have coming up. Either way you are not present.

As a result, to maintain an adequate level of awareness and concentration one must practice awareness and concentration. One of the great ways to achieve this is by way of meditation. Assuming you will practice meditation where you concentrate on an object of meditation (your breath or something else) while you are aware of the present moment. As you can see this is an ideal method to practice and improve awareness and concentration. If one can maintain a consistent habit of meditation the awareness and concentration will strengthen.

Putting it into Practice

Assume you are in a stressful conversation. If you are aware of your feelings and can concentrate on the subject at hand you will see that you will not feel stressed. Why? Because there is only the discussion going on and nothing else. There is no worry about how the meeting will end and what the outcome will be.

With all this in mind how could we define happiness?

Today's article is by :

Penny Locaso.

https://hbr.org/2021/01/what-you-were-taught-about-happiness-isnt-true

Main points of the article that I found interesting are as follows:

Most of us believe that once we achieve certain goals, such as attaining a better job or purchasing a nice house car, we will be able to be happy and live happily ever after. But happiness is neither a destination nor a rigid state. Happiness is a mindset, and we revisit it throughout life.

Happiness is a frame of mind that permeates exchanges through the remainder of life. Based on the findings of author Penny Locaso, she identified a core attribute to bolster the potency of this mindset: intentional flexibility. Locaso postulates that fine tuning your ability to adapt by yourself leads to a high degree of happiness. She found three techniques to fine-tune to take on intentional flexibility. To be more adaptable, focus on what you want to experience, display bravery, and be more curious.

Who is Penny Locaso?

As stated on her website:

Penny Locaso is the world’s first Happiness Hacker on a quest to teach 10 million humans, by 2025 how to flourish in life.

Voted one of the most influential female entrepreneurs in Australia, Penny is her own ongoing experiment. A little while back she turned her life upside down in pursuit of happiness. She left a sixteen-year career as an executive, relocated her family from Perth back to Melbourne, left an 18-year relationship, and started her own purpose-driven company HackingHappy.co

With over 20 years’ experience in enabling adaptability Penny's calling is to empower people to release their fear of uncertainty, find their flow, and flourish.

Penny works with governments, corporations, and educators to build a more intentionally adaptable society. She has partnered with the likes of Google, Microsoft, Booking.com, SalesForce, Deloitte, and LuluLemon, to name a few.

Penny created The Intentional Adaptability Quotient®. A world-first psychometric tool and education program that decodes the skills required to not only navigate but flourish in complex and uncertain change.

Alongside Penny's entrepreneurial endeavours, she is the published author of Hacking Happiness, a Harvard Business Review contributor, a passionate yoga teacher, a faculty member at the esteemed Singularity University, and a student completing her Graduate Diploma in Psychology.

Imagine what could be possible for you, your team, or your community if you had a Penny in your pocket!

Today’s quote is:

"The fact that happiness is associated with relaxation does not mean that it is impossible to be happy in the midst of strenuous effort, for to be truly effective great effort must, as it were, revolve upon a steady unmoving center. The problem before us is how to find such a center of relaxed balance and poise in man's individual life - a center whose happiness is unshaken by the whirl that goes on around it, which creates happiness because of itself and not because of external events, and this in spite of the fact that it may experience those events in all their aspects and extremes from the highest bliss to the deepest agony.”

Alan Watts, The Meaning of Happiness

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